A few days ago, a color conspiracy, enacted by women, swept over the social webs to raise awareness and at the same time, pull one over on us men. So now more than ever seems like the appropriate moment to publish an excerpt from the longest ‘short’ story I’ve ever written, but decided not to complete. (I happen to be working on something more important right now). Never the less, rather than leaving this to collect dust, I’ve decided to share with you these little wisdoms and what fascinating things the colors of lingerie have to reveal:

Little Black Books

One of the main characters in the story –  a man –  has a tradition amongst his friends, that every time one of them gets married, they have to hand over their little black book to one of the left over bachelors. It’s their way of closing a chapter in their lives. And when they do, they also have to write down in it, a lesson learnt, and worth passing on, that gives an insight in to the mystery, that beholds every woman.

Our character happens to be the last man to remain unmarried. As such, he has managed to acquire all the life lessons of his tied down friends. Of course, not all these lessons are to be taken seriously and many of them are either childish, or either clichés, rather than useful real life lessons. The classic cliché among them being that the perfect breast size is a handful. No more, no less. Clichés are the words of amateurs.

So one of the more intriguing lessons he received, was passed on to him by a friend who was a real player in his day. From his experience, every woman has a distinct style in the way she makes love to a man. He never really took much notice to it, until it started to dawn upon him that one can tell how a woman is in bed beforehand, simply by looking at the color of the lingerie she’s wearing.  And so came about the men’s guide to color theory:

The First Principle: What’s hidden, is most revealing.

The first principle of the theory, even though it is based on an old joke,  remains relevant, because it holds a grain of truth:

As a man shuts the door behind him – as he leaves for a date with the girl of his dreams –  he can only wonder if he’ll get lucky that night.

When a woman shuts the door behind her –  as she is about to embark on the same date with the man of her dreams – she already knows.

Women, in general, always have the last say. So when they do say ‘yes’, they come prepared. And that includes all layers of fashion, from the shoes on her feet, to the dress she is wearing, and the undergarments beneath it. You can be sure that of all her lingerie, she’ll pick her best set that will surely make her feel sexy, and at the least, unembarrassed when the time comes to reveal her true curves. Lingerie says more about themselves, than it does about the person they are trying to impress.

The Second Principle: The different styles of sex.

The second principle of the theory states that sex is like dancing. They come in many forms and styles.  Some people are great dancers, others just shuffle with their feet. Some of us will try out different forms, while the rest us will stick with what we know.  So you can always expect that when you place someone who is dressed like hip hopper on the dance floor, he’ll hip hop. Only a few will dare to tango when the music changes. Same goes for sex. Though we might role play and try some different things to add some spice to the romance, it’s hard to leave our distinctive styles of making love to the same partner.

It also explains why a man in a perfectly happy relationship with a very experienced partner would still cheat on her. It’s not that he’s looking for something better. Sometimes, he just wants to boogie rather than salsa all the time. And of course, the same goes for her motives to do the same. But before you start thinking, just keep in mind, that when it comes to sex and relationships, few are as forgiving to ask, you save the last dance.

The Third Principle: The color guide.

Just like one is inclined to dress according to how they dance, so to do women choose their best lingerie in harmony to the way they make love. But until I’ve taken part in rigorous scientific tests to ensure that the given results are indeed correct, these observations are best not taken too seriously.

Scarlet Red:

Scarlet red is young at heart, eager to please, but inexperienced. Her idea of sex is formed by what she has seen on the silver screen, and influenced by what she reads in ladies magazines. Therefore scarlet red acts the part of the seductress, believing that this is the path to passion. She has a lot to learn

Bordeaux Red:

It would seem that the color red turns darker with the benefit of experience. Lady Bordeaux no longer makes love in a fashion that she thinks is expected of her, but has discovered that she too is an involved partner. Sex is no longer an act, but a form of art in which she plays center stage. Not only is she a master seductress, she will equally demand – and will even be quite vocal about it – that her needs are met as well. In return, Lady Bordeaux might even teach you a thing or two.

Black

Black may very well be the most complex of all colors to decipher. A discerning gentleman must take note, not just of color alone, but also of texture and garment, if he is to determine what he is letting himself into.

Plain Black Cotton:

Miss Black Cotton, just like Scarlet Red, still lacks experience between the sheets. But while the one seeks passion, the other is wild and raw. For in the mind Black Cotton – whom has still to discover that her body has much more to offer – sex is a no nonsense affaire. Foreplay is formality. She would much rather get to the point. Intercourse is the climax she’s hunting for and she’ll ride you like a wild stallion to achieve it. Stubborn, she is difficult to teach and unwilling to be introduced new things. Hopefully time will turn her into a better lover, but for now, you’ll have to make do. It takes stamina to endure her lust.

On the other hand, Miss Black Cotton, could also be an adventurer in hostile conditions, wearing black for practical reasons. As such, she may not really be showing her true colors. Did I already mention that black is a tricky color?

Black Lace:

Of all colors, Lady Blake Lace may be the most classic of them all. She enjoys a bit of everything, but not too much of anything. Although not afraid to experiment, she avoids extremes and prefers moderation. In her heart, meaning is more important than style or adventure. She does not have sex, but instead makes love. And so for her, missionary is not just acceptable, but respectable. Her on top is sufficiently empowering. And to spice things up, there is always doggy for a touch of naughty. And to complete the list, a spoon will make her swoon.

And while it’s not necessarily technical skills that will impress her, it’s quite ok to introduce new positions into play, as long as they are not too complicated or straining. Just keep in mind that with Lady Black Lace, it’s the feeling that counts. It’s the little attentions that make her happy.

Black Velvet: (& Violet aswell)

You will need to keep an open mind when faced with little Miss Velvet. She’s a tad eccentric and possibly even borderline fetish. She lives in a spiritual world, one filled with candles and symbolism. Sex is something she takes seriously. For her, setting and mood is important, almost to the point it is ritual like. With her, it’s probably never boring. You might find yourself with her in strange places, or discover that a full moon is a reason to dive into bed, or an open field.

Blue

Blue is for the girl who is driven by her fantasies. She has a clear idea of what she wants and will settle for no less. She won’t compromise for something else. Unlike with Lady Black, Blue really appreciates style. It’s also very likely that the film “Dirty Dancing” was a moment of epiphany during her formative years.

Deep Blue:

Lady Deep Blue’s state of mind can probably no better be described than by Kylie Minogue’s song “Slow“. For making love to Lady Deep Blue is an intense affair, slow, and with each other’s eyes locked in an embracing gaze. She’s not the type to spill any words when making love. One must communicate with subtle gestures as not to interrupt the flow of the moment.

Pale Blue:

Miss Pale Blue is infatuated by the exotic. It’s probably her curiosity that may have initially driven her to try something a out of the ordinary, but along the way, must have realized that men from exotic places not only dance differently, they also make love differently. And in that sense, to Miss Pale Blue, sex is just a continuation in bed of something that started on the dance floor. As such, making love to her is no simple affair. Especially for us men who are accustomed to doing only a single thing at a time. It requires skill, rhythm and agility. Just like any exotic dance, every part of your body has remain in motion and in sync with hers: moving, grinding, flowing, feeling.

And so the next time you hear the phrase “Once you go black, you never go back”, size may not be the real reason, and more likely the initial sales pitch.

Yellow:

Yellow is a sex kitten and a rare find. She is acutely aware of her seductive prowess and knows very well how to put her skills to good use. She has a natural born talent in winding men around her finger using just her charm. Unsurprisingly, most women see her as a threat.

Sex with little Miss Yellow is an experience its own right. One might as well just sit back and enjoy as she takes full control and plays you like a toy. She is very assertive in bed, constantly teasing, seducing and having a ball. Don’t be surprised to find yourself gasping for air as you try to keep up with her antics. And it’s probably because she enjoys sex so much she’s surprisingly experienced for her age.

Mixed Match:

Miss Mixed Match doesn’t really care about how she looks. Why spend time and money on lingerie if it’s going to end up on the bedroom floor within seconds anyway? Miss Mixed is the girl next door, and may even be a little bit of a tomboy. For she prefers the company of boys rather than girls. Sex with her is a playful game: something not to be taken too seriously. She’s the girl who is most likely to initiate a cushion fight while making out and will end up wrestling with, before continuing what you started.

Orange:

Pop open a Heineken and celebrate. It’s very likely Miss Orange is a Dutch girl out on a special occasion.

White

It goes without saying that white is the color of innocence and for whom sex is not taken to lightly. In fact, making love to a lady white is like signing a contract of long term commitment.

White Cotton:

Miss White Cotton is the inexperienced clumsy partner in bed. Her insecurity makes her feel a bit nervous and perhaps even somewhat passive. But that does not necessarily mean you’ll have bad sex, quite the contrary. She’s probably the type that will later evolve into becoming a Black Lace lady as her confidence grows. Success with Miss White Cotton is measured by meaning and feeling rather than by technical skill. With her, something as simple as missionary can be magical. But trying anything too complicated or ambitious may very well end up in disaster.

White Lace:

Miss White Lace is the make-believe virgin. She has probably had more prior lovers than she’s willing to admit, but this time round, she’s sure you’re the one. And you better make sure that is the case or there will be hell to pay. As such, making love to her is a bit of a neurotic experience. A rollercoaster ride. Any hint that may endanger your relationship or make her feel insecure will spell trouble. Emotionally, she’s high maintenance. But if you love the passion of big fights followed by making-up sex, she’s your girl.

Pink or Peach

Miss Pink is naively romantic and preciously passive. If in bed, she shows any sign of initiative, it’ll be for hugs and cuddles. Otherwise, she’ll expect you to take the lead and do all the work. If you don’t know any better, have low expectations or simply love always being in control, then perhaps, she’s a dream. Otherwise, she’ll quickly tire with little chance of the both of you living happily ever after.

Deep Purple:

You Tarzan, she Jane! Miss Deep Purple is a jungle girl. She’s into rough wild animal sex. Loud and energetic, it takes quite some endurance to keep up with her as she shows you all four corners of the room. If you ever wanted to try out every position described in the Kama sutra, she’s probably the woman you want to take along with you on this crazy venture. And a wild ride it would be.

Emerald Green:

Unless she’s Irish, Mrs. Emerald Green is the wedding ring amongst the lingerie colors. She already in a relationship with a partner or a husbands somewhere. So if by chance, you should come across her, it’s most likely she’s just out for a fling. Mrs.Emerald Green is seeking a brief encounter of excitement to spice up her life. Making love to her can quickly become a strange cocktail of fantasy, seduction, control and guilt (and possibly even jealous partners). You just can’t tell what you’re getting yourself into with Emerald Green.

In Conclusion

And with that overview, I leave you with just one final question. What is your favorite color? ;)

Boy meets girl in an elevator. Boy likes girl. Boy too scared to ask her out. So far, so typical. However; this is not your every-day-garden-variety-love-story.

Just when you think his situation is nothing more than awkward at best, the film takes a turn for the strange. Our boy not only invites an odd bedfellow into his life, it is through this curious action, that he is led to believe that there might be more to this girl than meets the eye.

As the ending credits of Lost Highway swept over the cinema screen, I was left behind in a state of total perplexity.  Instinctively, I knew I had witnessed one of the greatest movies of all time. But for the life of me, I couldn’t figure out what I had just been watching for the past two hours. It was the first time a film had ever evoked such a bewildered feeling out of me.  I had to know why.

The dialogs were in English, but the film conventions used were foreign. Subtitles were nonexistent. It was a film that would take many viewings to figure out, though many claimed the film could not be explained. That it was nothing more than one long dream sequence from a twisted brain that made absolutely no sense. I never really believed that. And I’m glad I didn’t.

Mulholland Drive: A Slight Detour.

Justification came when David Lynch released Mulholland Drive. Many of the ideas and principles first implemented in Lost Highway would make their return. The difference was, Mulholland Drive was a lot easier to grasp. It was meant to be solved. Despite the fact that Lynch had originally planned it as a pilot for what was meant to be a series, he managed to tie up most loose ends when it was decided it should be a one off film instead. The DVD I bought even came with a cheat card.

The first two thirds of Mulholland Drive is in fact a dreamscape imagined by an actress that moves to Hollywood in search of fame and success. In her eyes, everything is perfect and she is the center of attention. In fact, she’s god’s gift to Hollywood. Yet dark forces outside of her control conspire  against her to take away the success she so deserves. In the last third of the film, we’re confronted with a reality that is much closer to the truth. She is not the successful women she perceives herself to be, but instead is consumed by jealousy that clouds her own judgment. It’s a film about self delusion. It’s also the Rosetta Stone of David Lynch’s mind.  The film language that once seemed so foreign and alien is finally starting to make sense.

Driving back to the Lost Highway

The first thing we have to take into account is that Lost Highway is more of a mindscape. A place were thoughts are depicted as  scenes and people, rather than events that have actually happened. And in this particular film, we step inside the mind of murderer who is trying to deal with the fact that out passion and jealousy, he killed his unfaithful wife and her lover.

While I can’t be sure David Lynch had this in mind while he was writing the scenario, the film does more or less follow the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Needles to say, this explanation contains spoilers. Now that we have gotten the disclaimer out of the way,let’s get on with it:

Denial

“Anyway, I hate the idea of acting paranoid.”

The film begins with our killer, now in the form of Fred. His state of mind is one of a sterile world, oblivious to what has just happened.  The first sign that alerts him of trouble is when the doorbell rings. When he checks the intercom, someone speak the words: “Dick Laurent is dead”. When he looks outside the window, no one is there. The significance of this scene is that it is his subconscious trying to tell him something, but our killer is deeply in denial. The name doesn’t ring a bell at all.

We are then introduced to Renee, his wife. The conversations between Fred and Renee are not exactly natural. It’s not how two people, who are, whether in love, or even estranged, would talk to each other. There is no emotion in their voices and instead speak in monotone manner. Their relationship, just like the house they live in is very sterile.  It’s a conversation imagined by the killer. Deep down, he has grown suspicious of his wife, but he is afraid to recognize what that might mean to their marriage. What he really wants is confirmation that she still loves him and only him.

She stays home that night. He goes to play gig. After the concert, he phones her, but she doesn’t pick up. Did she stay home, or is she somewhere else? When he returns, he finds her in bed. He convinces himself she was already sound asleep when he called. Everything is still fine.

The next morning, his subconscious sends him another message. This time in the form of a videotape. The first cassette just shows the front façade of the Madison House, the home they live in. Strange.

The killers suspicion, that his wife is cheating on him, grows. But at the same time, he still doesn’t want to recognize the truth. In one of the next scenes, they make love. But Renee is simply going through the motions. There is no sense of passion in her, no show of love. While the screenplay states that Fred does in the end come, in the movie, it looks more like he just gives up and is in fact impotent. And remember, this film was made  before  Viagra  was introduced, so that would have been doubly worrying. His wife proceeds to consoles him, an act that doesn’t really ad much spice to their sex life. For Fred, it must have felt quite the opposite. Compensating even. A further blow to his ego.

Fred tells her of a dream he had. That he was looking for her, but couldn’t find her. Subconsciously, the dream tells him his wife is no more. She is gone forever, but in his denial, he continues to believe she is still alive in this believe world of his. Everything is still fine.

The next morning, another videotape arrives. The tape starts out the same, with a shot of the front of the house, but now continues inside, as if filmed from something hovering against the ceiling. It moves thru the house and ends with Fred and Renee in the frame, sleeping in their bed. Renee already knew there was something foreboding about these tapes. Now she is really disturbed. They decide to call the police.

Two detectives arrive. It seems that in David Lynch movies, detectives always come in pairs, and act more as observers rather than crime solvers. But they bring with them another very significant scene. At one point, of the detectives asks if they own a video camera. Renee answers that Fred hates them.

Fred: I like to remember things my own way.
Detective: What do you mean by that?
Fred: How I remember them. Not necessarily the way they happened.

That last line is very important. It basically describes the whole film. We are being shown how the killer wants to remember things. And so far, he doesn’t want to be reminded of what he has really done. But eventually, the truth will catch up to him. The videos are a symbol of what really happened.

A new day, a new tape. This one is even stranger. In it, Fred seems to be awakened by the strange presence and looks straight into the camera, horrified. But Fred can’t remember ever doing that. While Renee is now practically freaking out on this, Fred is still not all to curious or motivated about getting to the bottom of all this.

Andy’s house: They are both at a party. Fred was asked to play a gig here, but Renee didn’t really want to come. She’s got history here. How she and Andy are related will later be revealed in a later part of the movie.

After the gig, Fred and Renee match up again. As Fred goes to get a refill for their drinks, Renee starts dancing with Andy. Fred isn’t too pleased about that, but continues walking towards the bar. His jealousy peaks and that triggers the introduction of the mystery man.  The mystery man is a manifestation of our killers jealousy. The two go hand in hand. And even though the mystery man tells Fred they have met before, Fred remains adamant that he has never seen him before. What follows is probably one of the creepiest scenes in the movie. The mystery man asks Fred to call his own house. Fred is surprised to hear the mystery man speaking back at him on the other side of the line. When Fred demands to know what he is doing in his home, the mystery man tells Fred, he invited him in. Mystery man then demands his phone back. This encounter rattles Fred and his world is slowly starting to unravel now. Disturbed by what has happened, he knows something is clearly wrong and he is finally starting to slip out of denial.

He and Renee flee back home.

One last videotape awaits Fred the next morning. He watches it alone this time. The video begins the same way as before, but now ends with Fred on his knees, his hands full of blood next to a badly mutilated body. That of Renee. She is dead. Killed. Looking at the camera, Fred is horrified, unbelieving of what has just happened.
He finally realizes he has killed his wife.

Anger

“I didn’t kill her! Tell me I didn’t kill her”

We know find Fred in jail. He now knows he is going to be punished for what he has done. But in his mind, someone else is surely to blame? This can’t be happening to him. He doesn’t see himself as a killer. But the whole system is against him. He feels victimized. He’s trialed and sentenced to death.

The jail scenes are probably the closest we come to reality in the whole film. But even here, things get strange. Although it is now certain, our killer is in jail, we are clearly still viewing his thoughts inside of his mind.

Bargaining

After anger comes bargaining. In this stage, and how futile it may seem, an individual hopes to postpone the final outcome of their situation. In Fred’s case, he wants to go back to the way things were.  He wants out of death row. He wants to escape  the death penalty.

And this will inevitably to lead to the biggest WTF moment in the whole film.

The killers bargain starts with a headache. Fred is in really bad shape and it’s only getting worse. Something is happening to his head and it’s not normal. It starts to horribly deform. Finally, he becomes Pete.

Why Pete?

Still unable to except his fate, Pete is in a way, the killers hope to start a new and escape capital punishment. Pete is also a manifestation of the ideal self image of the killer: a handsome innocent young man without a care in the world.
The prison guards are naturally surprised  to find Pete instead of Fred in his cell. But legally, they have to set Pete free.
The first striking thing we notice is that Pete doesn’t live in the sterile world that Fred did. Things seem more natural here. There is even a sense of optimism in this new  world.

Depression

After the strange events of the past few days, Pete returns home. And while everybody is wondering what exactly has happened to him and are anxious for everything to get back to normal, Pete seems to be detached from everything. He doesn’t seem to have much interest in his friends. Not even in his girlfriend. One could say he is depressed. He also can’t remember what happened to him in the past days. And while he seems a bit troubled by it, he’s not really curious to find out what, why or how. Another secret looms?

Working at the garage, he meets Mr. Eddy. His car needs a little tuning and invites Pete for a ride to figure out what’s wrong. We are then introduced to another memorable scene, where they are riding along Mulholland Drive – what a coincidence – and are then tailgated by an aggressive driver. After letting him pass, Mr. Eddy strikes back by using the power and mechanical excellence of his Merc to ram this menace off the road. He then promptly pulls out this hapless driver out of his car, gives him a good smacking, and with guns drawn from him and his assistants, sternly tells the beaten up driver off that tailgating is dangerous.

It’s a strange scene, pointing out that while Mr. Eddy seems like a very sympathetic and engaging person, he’s not exactly a very nice guy. While on the one hand, he’s a man of principle, he also doesn’t mind getting his hands dirty to uphold them. And the reason he can get away with it all is that he probably is the leader of a gang that dabbles in organized  crime. The kind of people you don’t want to mess with unless you want your kneecaps busted or a bullet in your head.

When they return to the garage, they are noticed by the two detectives that have been assigned to keep an eye on Pete. The detectives identify Mr. Eddy as Dick Laurent. Apparently, they are one and the same person.

Acceptance

Our killer is now in a phase where he is in a process of accepting what has happened. He’s definitely not there yet though. In a way, he has returned in a state of denial again. But this time, our killer is living in Pete’s perfect fantasy world. This illusion will eventually crumble and send the film into some strange twists and turns. As time progresses. More and more links to the truth will soon start to appear.

Like when Mr. Eddy shows up at the garage to drop off a car with Alice by his side. Pete immediately is attracted to her. But Alice looks exactly like Renee. Except now she’s blond. And her name is Alice. She also lacks the dispassion that Renee expressed in Fred’s world.

Later that night, Pete makes love to Sheila, his girlfriend, though it seems more out of convenience for him rather than anything else. In any case, he’s not very faithful as the next day, when Alice returns to pick up the car, it doesn’t take her much seducing to get Pete into bed. If Fred was a poor performer, alter-ego Pete, the idealized version of who our killer would want to be, is apparently a true sex machine. Which makes perfect sense. Every red blooded heterosexual man dreams of girls throwing themselves at them. And if they claim otherwise, they are lying!
Yet sleeping around with many women doesn’t really have much ego boosting appeal to it if no one knows about. But luckily for our killer, the two detectives still tailing Pete, are envious witnesses to his sexual adventures. So far, that seems to be their only function in Pete’s world.
In a turn of tables, it is now Mr. Eddy that has become suspicious of Alice cheating on him. He pays Pete a visit once again and threatens he’ll kill anyone who dares comes between them.

Alice and Pete, afraid that Mr. Eddy will murder them, decide to run off together. But they will need money for that. Alice has a plan to rob a guy she knows. It’s Andy. Someone she used to work for. Someone who pays girls to party. Although she never says it with so many words, Pete discovers that Alice used to be a prostitute. His jealously kicks in. She also confesses that thanks to Andy she was made to star in porno movies for Mr. Eddy.

They plan to meet up the next day at Andy’s house. She’ll already be there, and he’ll sneak in through the back. Pete’s perfect world however is starting to fall apart.

When he gets home, Sheila discovers Pete has been cheating on her and makes a real scene out of it. According to her, Pete has changed and it is time he finally learns what has happened to him. His parents try to protect him from the truth but are interrupted by a phone call for Pete. It’s Eddy at the Lost Highway Hotel, asking if he is fine. He then passes the phone on to the mystery man. Once again, our killers jealousy has triggered his subconscious mystery man to appear. He reveals he has murdered, and not just once, but several times. The mystery man also reminds our killer that trying to escape into Pete’s world is a futile endeavor.  Whether he likes it or not, he will face the death sentence.

PETE: What’s goin’ on?
MYSTERY MAN: Great question!! In the east … the far east… when a person is sentenced to death… they’re sent to a place where they can’t escape…

Just when you thought this film was finally starting to act like a normal movie, it’s back to WTF?! mode again. No wonder people have a hard time understanding it. Here goes:

The next evening, Pete makes his way to Andy’s house. He sneaks in and is confronted with a porno movie in which Alice is occupied by certain sex acts. Pete’s jealousy is now starting to get out of control. Blinded by passion, Andy becomes our killers first victim. Evidently, he was the one that introduced Alice to this world in the first place. Andy’s life is brought to an end, his head sliced into  the edge of a glass table .

But when Pete exclaims that they’ve killed him, Alice corrects him: He killed him. Things are turning in to become a blur. But he does notice a photo in the room. Posing in it is Andy, Mr. Eddy, Alice and Renee. He rightfully asks if Alice and Renee are the same person. Alice points at herself in the photo, and says: that’s me. Deep down, Pete does realize the two are the same. The woman in the porn flick playing in the background is Alice, and Alice is Renee, his wife.  Pete’s nose spontaneously starts to bleed. The transformation back to Fred has begun. Our killers perfect world is quickly evaporating and the truth is taking its place.

When Pete searches for a bathroom to clean himself up, the hallway in Andy’s house changes into one of a hotel. And in one of the rooms he finds a whorish version of Alice sleeping with another man. Our killer probably always imagined his wife as naïve and innocent. The discovery that she was everything but just that must have truly shocked him.

Pete returns downstairs. After having looted the place, Alice hands him a gun. She also knows of a fencer that will help them with the stolen goods. And with that, they make a run for the dessert. They stop at a cabin. Alice checks the door but there is no one inside. They’ll have to wait.

After having discovered his wife’s’ secret  life, the question on our killers mind is, why did she choose him?  Was it out of love, or a chance to escape her past and live a quieter life?

Alice and Pete make love for the last time under the headlights of his car. Alice perhaps was a passionate craving. A fantasy that ended up in disappointment. The woman he wanted to love.

Pete: I want you… I want you…

..he calls until finally, Alice pulls herself away and inflicts the last final blow. The reason why she too had to go.

Alice: You’ll never have me.

She walks towards the cabin, enters it, and disappears. Our killers manifestation of Pete is now gone too. It’s now just Fred. The cold hard truth of the killer himself. Almost..
The Mystery Man returns. When Fred enters the cabin, that’s all whom he finds.

Fred: Where’s Alice?
Mystery Man: Alice who?

Alice is indeed nowhere to be seen.

Mystery Man: Her name is Renee . If she told you her name was Alice, she’s lying. AND YOUR NAME? WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR NAME?

And that pretty much sums it up. Pete is Fred, and Alice is Renee, Mr. Eddy is Dick Laurent. And the Mystery Man? That is Fred too. Fred now finally recognized that jealous part of himself as well. As a result, both manifestations of our killer start working together from this point on. It’s now time to fully accept what he has done and why.

Fred heads out into the dessert again, driving down Lost Highway, finally ending up at a hotel. One with a hallway he had momentarily seen earlier at Andy’s place when he was still in a blur with a bleeding nose as Pete.

He books a room. Renee and Laurent are having an affair in the room next door. In the meantime, our detectives are actually doing some investigative work at Andy’s place, the scene of a murder. They too notice the photograph. Except, now, there is no image of Alice in it, just Renee.

Back at the Lost Highway hotel, Renee leaves Laurent behind and heads off in her car. Fred picks up the gun, knocks on the neighboring door and when Laurent opens it expecting to see Renee, Fred smashes his way in. He then proceeds to kidnap Laurent and throws him into the boot of his own car before being driven off to a deserted spot.

When Fred opens the trunk, Laurent charges at him and a fight ensues. A knife appears, presumably handed over by the mystery man. Fred’s jealousy has pushed him to the point that he is prepared to kill again. He slashes Laurent’s throat. Something Laurent probably wasn’t too pleased about at the time. Bleeding profusely, he is still alive and conscious.
Fred picks up the gun and points it at Laurent. Dicks last words: What do you guys want?

We then see Fred with the gun, and next to him the Mystery Man, both staring at their second victim to be. The Mystery Man pulls out a portable TV and hands it over to Laurent. Just like the videotapes, this too is a symbol device. They show the events in which Renee and Laurent are engaged in questionable sexual and pornographic acts. The TV depicts the reason why he is about to be killed. After returning the television, the Mystery Man unloads his gun on him.

Moments later, we just see Fred holding the gun in his hand. The Mystery Man is no longer a separate manifestation. Our killer now not only recognizes but also accepts that jealous side of himself as well. He is finally taking blame for what he has done.

The last significant scene of the movie is Fred driving up to his own and ringing the doorbell. He then speaks into the intercom the following famous words: Dirk Laurent is dead.

And with that, the five stages of grief have been completed. When at first, he was in complete denial upon hearing about Dirk Laurent’s death from some subconscious part of himself, he has now come full circle and accepts what he has done. Or at least enough to admit it.
The film ends with a police chase. Fred is fully aware he can’t escape the death sentence.  It’s just a matter of time.

The End.

This seems like a fitting post, especially now that she’s finally won an Academy Award for best leading actress in ‘The Reader’.

For most of us however, Kate Winslet’s greatest contribution to mankind must be that single most iconic scene from the film: ‘The Titanic’. For since then, any man or woman, setting foot on a boat or ship, will always be plagued by the irresistible urge to stand at its bow, with arms stretched wide and open.

Phone Sex

But it is her appearance in the comedy sit-com called ‘Extras’, that’s pure comic genius and just as memorable. ‘Extras’ revolves around Andy, a struggling actor with aspirations of one day making it big. But in the mean time, he has to make do with the actor’s equivalent of breadcrumbs: playing as an extra in the shadow of stars.

In this particular episode, he’s been given a small role as a German foot soldier in a movie about the Holocaust. The films lead role of a devout nun is played and portrayed beautifully by Kate Winslet. But in between takes – and still dressed as a nun – she freely exalts her advice on how to talk dirty on the phone to one of her colleagues in need. But then, she takes it a bit too far and gets caught.

It looks like Durex has been very busy of late. First, we were introduced to a trio of latex bunnies taking tips from the Kamasutra. Now we are being treated to an orgasmic opera. Though this may not be one of their best creations, and certainly not as funny as the bunnies, some of the scenes in the opera ad, as seen in the image above, reminded me of one of the more peculiar sites I’ve stumbled upon on in one of my many adventures on the internet.

But before we continue, I must warn you. We are about to venture in to the shadier parts of the internet. A place where sex is no taboo and pornification runs free. A place where for every fetish imaginable, someone, somewhere, has taken the time to dedicate a complete site around it. So that no matter how picky you may be, even your wildest dreams or most exocentric desires can be fulfilled if only you know where to look. Some of you may know these parts of the internet quite well. And for those of you who don’t, now is either the time to stop reading, or maybe not.

Unfortunately, much of what we will find on the net these days is quite explicit. You could even say tasteless or downright disgusting. There are those who claim that sex has to be dirty to be good, but some of it is so extreme that I really question how it could fuel anyone’s sexual appetite. Much of it is primarily based on lust and has little to do with eroticism. But like it or not, in the last decade, even the mainstream perception of how we view and experience sex in the real world has for a large part been influenced by the porn universe. It’s as if our sexuality is determined not so much by what we feel ourselves to be right, but by what we see and read in the media. It is as if we would prefer to conform to our peers in the hopes of meeting their expectation rather then discovering what we enjoy most for ourselves. I just hope we don’t ever reach the point that in order to become a good lover, you have to sing a sonnet while you come.

So it’s always a joy to stumble across something that goes against the grain. I was left mesmerized when I first discovered Beautiful Agony. It’s one of the most erotic things I’ve come across which for a site is quite a feat. Especially if you consider that you won’t find any nudity on their site. Beautiful Agony apparently doesn’t advertise any free examples anymore that would do it justice, but you can find a few of their videos out in the wild here and there on the net.

The setup is simple. A woman, or a man, films themselves from the shoulders up while they are masturbating. All we get to see are their facial expressions as they go through the different stages of warm up, build up, orgasm and relief. It comes across as authentic and is probably one of the most intimate and vulnerable things we could ever reveal about ourselves. And it’s probably what makes these movies so appealing.