Play the Modern Times Game! The idea for this game came to me in a dream. It is based on a scene from Modern Times, a Charlie Chaplin film. It’s the one where Chaplin is working on an assembly line, mind numbingly screwing in bolts with a spanner until he finally goes mad.

What inspired me most is the fact that reality simulation games are ever so popular nowadays, especially on Facebook. I can understand that running your own virtual farm can be considered challenging and rewarding is some way. Having to regularly clean your online aquarium on the other hand is starting to move in Tamagotchi land.

But when I saw my sister the other day playing a game where you have to make hamburgers in a fast food restaurant, that too me just seemed a tad absurd. Nobody enjoys doing this demeaning tasks in real life, yet once it is moved into the virtual realm, it all of sudden becomes fun and games.

And so I’ve created the ultimate reality game. Yes, like Charlie Chaplin in the film, you too can become a factory worker on an assembly line at the time of the depression. In order to play this game, you need to switch your mind to zero and get to work.

Like a real job, each level takes 12 hours to complete. You are however afforded a break half way through during each working day. So it does take some endurance to complete each shift in one go, but keep in mind that you are rewarded for your hard work. I believe the pay is about ten dollars an hour. But the last time I played, the work pace was upped meaning you’ll probably earn more if you don’t get fired for slacking. So it’s not like your earning minimum wage here and it may even be worth giving up your day job just to play it.

Ironically, it takes longer to play a single shift of this game than it took me to actually create it.

Have fun. ;)

Logorama is a pulp fictionesque animation contrived completely out of logo’s. You have to watch it once, and then watch it again, the second time freeze framing a single frame at a time to notice every single detail such as Pink Floyds The Wall or the colonel himself serving at his own KFC and so much more… really well done.

Hello! My name is Anara and I would like to start a conversation with you. I hope that you will answer me. I would like to know more about you and see some of your pictures as well.

I live in Russia and I am 27 years old now. I hope to see the only serious intentions from you, not the game or just the desire to hold your fun time for our conversation.

With respect and a desire to see your reply soon, Anara.

P.S. I hope that we will be able to speak English, the language I know well, but I’m ready to learn French in the future!

One thing I’ve learnt about Russian girls is that they all seek the creation of serious relationships. Though I’m not sure what Victoriya is implying. Is she suggesting we make kids first as a way of getting to know each other?

My name is Viktoriya
I like your profile! I would like to get acquainted with you and I want find out you better. I search for the man for creation of serious relations.
I would like to tell a little about myself, I the kind, fair and loving person, I very much like kids. I am assured we could to get acquainted.

I can send you my photos and tell you more about myself..
I will wait your letter..

Maybe it’s because Russian girls are so into creating things that I find their letters so appealing. I happen to be a creative person too! And Amarina gets straight to the point.

Hello!
Your profile has interested me more than the others, therefore I have decided to write to you. I the usual girl searching for serious relations, for family creation. I very much would like to get acquainted with you.
I hope that you will not leave my letter without the answer.

Apparantly, I’m in some Russian Internet Dating agency database, though I haven’t been able to track it down yet. That would also explains all the love letters. I can only wonder what it says about me to attract so much willful attention. And Tanya is no exception. She’s even offering me the BIG LOVE! How can you say no to that? Though I have to admit, I am a bit concerned for her health. Living in a place called Asbest can not be a good thing.

Hello my friend!!!
This letter arrived to you from Russian Internet dating agency “The Relationships”.
This is not spam or other bad things. So, please, answer to me!!!

My name is Tatiana. I’m 32 years old from small city Asbest, 86 km from Ekaterinburg, Russia.
I addressed to agency “The Relationships” and they sent my letter to you.
I want to search man from THE WEST for friendship and love.
I’m not married and have no children. I’m blonde woman with good body and great heart.
I’m open for big love!!! So, please, answer to me if you have interest to me.
I send my photo to you now. I hope that you will like me…

Best regards,
Yours Tatiana

With so much choice, how does one go about picking the one serious love for family creation? And while I meander on the thought of one day speaking with a girl fluent in Russian Bride English, I wish you a happy valentine’s day and that you may not be left without the answer.

I have long held the belief that washing machines can on occasion become accidental portals, which in turn allows travel to other dimensions. It would explain the missing sock phenomena which states that given enough time, you’ll end up with just one half of each pair.

A possible explanation for this, may be due to the centrifugal forces that are created inside a washing machine when it is in spin mode. That, and the combination of all the amazing advancements they’ve integrated into washing powders to give us cleaner than clean clothes. Together. they may be powerful enough to create mini worm wholes, large enough, that something like a sock could disappear in to it. It’s also possible that larger items of clothing might disappear in the same fashion. But because they usually don’t come in pairs, we rarely notice that they were gone in the first place.

A universe filled with missing socks

In other words, it’s more than likely that a universe, in a dimension other than ours, has been turned in to some kind of giant landfill, full of unmatched socks and other missing items.

It then raises the question, if we can build a washing machine big enough, could we send a person through it? And who would volunteer? There’d be no guarantee that one would be able to return back to our world. And spending the rest of you life between mismatched socks is hardly anyone’s idea of paradise.

Traveling back and forth between dimensions

Well, since yesterday, I may have proof that two way travel between our dimensions is possible! Bear with me: I’ve been missing a pair gloves for over a year now. Yesterday, I decided to conduct a full scale search party in the hopes of finding them, but to no avail. Failing to find them, I decided to collect the clothing items that needed to be cleaned, and placed them in my washing machine.

This morning, as I proceeded to empty it, I was surprised to find my missing gloves between the rest of my clothes! The only plausible explanation is that they traveled more than a year ago to another dimension, and then returned this very morning. Two-way inter-dimensional travel therefore must be possible! I can’t imagine the things my gloves have seen, the places they’ve been. But they did return in good condition, so I imagine that were ever went to, it can’t be that hostile for man.

A small spin for man, a giant cleaning for mankind

So if anyone has any ideas on how to build a giant washing machine, it would be greatly appreciated. For if all goes well, it’s very likely we may be on the verge of discovering new worlds and other dimensions. Or at the very least, all our missing socks.

A few days ago, a color conspiracy, enacted by women, swept over the social webs to raise awareness and at the same time, pull one over on us men. So now more than ever seems like the appropriate moment to publish an excerpt from the longest ‘short’ story I’ve ever written, but decided not to complete. (I happen to be working on something more important right now). Never the less, rather than leaving this to collect dust, I’ve decided to share with you these little wisdoms and what fascinating things the colors of lingerie have to reveal:

Little Black Books

One of the main characters in the story –  a man –  has a tradition amongst his friends, that every time one of them gets married, they have to hand over their little black book to one of the left over bachelors. It’s their way of closing a chapter in their lives. And when they do, they also have to write down in it, a lesson learnt, and worth passing on, that gives an insight in to the mystery, that beholds every woman.

Our character happens to be the last man to remain unmarried. As such, he has managed to acquire all the life lessons of his tied down friends. Of course, not all these lessons are to be taken seriously and many of them are either childish, or either clichés, rather than useful real life lessons. The classic cliché among them being that the perfect breast size is a handful. No more, no less. Clichés are the words of amateurs.

So one of the more intriguing lessons he received, was passed on to him by a friend who was a real player in his day. From his experience, every woman has a distinct style in the way she makes love to a man. He never really took much notice to it, until it started to dawn upon him that one can tell how a woman is in bed beforehand, simply by looking at the color of the lingerie she’s wearing.  And so came about the men’s guide to color theory:

The First Principle: What’s hidden, is most revealing.

The first principle of the theory, even though it is based on an old joke,  remains relevant, because it holds a grain of truth:

As a man shuts the door behind him – as he leaves for a date with the girl of his dreams –  he can only wonder if he’ll get lucky that night.

When a woman shuts the door behind her –  as she is about to embark on the same date with the man of her dreams – she already knows.

Women, in general, always have the last say. So when they do say ‘yes’, they come prepared. And that includes all layers of fashion, from the shoes on her feet, to the dress she is wearing, and the undergarments beneath it. You can be sure that of all her lingerie, she’ll pick her best set that will surely make her feel sexy, and at the least, unembarrassed when the time comes to reveal her true curves. Lingerie says more about themselves, than it does about the person they are trying to impress.

The Second Principle: The different styles of sex.

The second principle of the theory states that sex is like dancing. They come in many forms and styles.  Some people are great dancers, others just shuffle with their feet. Some of us will try out different forms, while the rest us will stick with what we know.  So you can always expect that when you place someone who is dressed like hip hopper on the dance floor, he’ll hip hop. Only a few will dare to tango when the music changes. Same goes for sex. Though we might role play and try some different things to add some spice to the romance, it’s hard to leave our distinctive styles of making love to the same partner.

It also explains why a man in a perfectly happy relationship with a very experienced partner would still cheat on her. It’s not that he’s looking for something better. Sometimes, he just wants to boogie rather than salsa all the time. And of course, the same goes for her motives to do the same. But before you start thinking, just keep in mind, that when it comes to sex and relationships, few are as forgiving to ask, you save the last dance.

The Third Principle: The color guide.

Just like one is inclined to dress according to how they dance, so to do women choose their best lingerie in harmony to the way they make love. But until I’ve taken part in rigorous scientific tests to ensure that the given results are indeed correct, these observations are best not taken too seriously.

Scarlet Red:

Scarlet red is young at heart, eager to please, but inexperienced. Her idea of sex is formed by what she has seen on the silver screen, and influenced by what she reads in ladies magazines. Therefore scarlet red acts the part of the seductress, believing that this is the path to passion. She has a lot to learn

Bordeaux Red:

It would seem that the color red turns darker with the benefit of experience. Lady Bordeaux no longer makes love in a fashion that she thinks is expected of her, but has discovered that she too is an involved partner. Sex is no longer an act, but a form of art in which she plays center stage. Not only is she a master seductress, she will equally demand – and will even be quite vocal about it – that her needs are met as well. In return, Lady Bordeaux might even teach you a thing or two.

Black

Black may very well be the most complex of all colors to decipher. A discerning gentleman must take note, not just of color alone, but also of texture and garment, if he is to determine what he is letting himself into.

Plain Black Cotton:

Miss Black Cotton, just like Scarlet Red, still lacks experience between the sheets. But while the one seeks passion, the other is wild and raw. For in the mind Black Cotton – whom has still to discover that her body has much more to offer – sex is a no nonsense affaire. Foreplay is formality. She would much rather get to the point. Intercourse is the climax she’s hunting for and she’ll ride you like a wild stallion to achieve it. Stubborn, she is difficult to teach and unwilling to be introduced new things. Hopefully time will turn her into a better lover, but for now, you’ll have to make do. It takes stamina to endure her lust.

On the other hand, Miss Black Cotton, could also be an adventurer in hostile conditions, wearing black for practical reasons. As such, she may not really be showing her true colors. Did I already mention that black is a tricky color?

Black Lace:

Of all colors, Lady Blake Lace may be the most classic of them all. She enjoys a bit of everything, but not too much of anything. Although not afraid to experiment, she avoids extremes and prefers moderation. In her heart, meaning is more important than style or adventure. She does not have sex, but instead makes love. And so for her, missionary is not just acceptable, but respectable. Her on top is sufficiently empowering. And to spice things up, there is always doggy for a touch of naughty. And to complete the list, a spoon will make her swoon.

And while it’s not necessarily technical skills that will impress her, it’s quite ok to introduce new positions into play, as long as they are not too complicated or straining. Just keep in mind that with Lady Black Lace, it’s the feeling that counts. It’s the little attentions that make her happy.

Black Velvet: (& Violet aswell)

You will need to keep an open mind when faced with little Miss Velvet. She’s a tad eccentric and possibly even borderline fetish. She lives in a spiritual world, one filled with candles and symbolism. Sex is something she takes seriously. For her, setting and mood is important, almost to the point it is ritual like. With her, it’s probably never boring. You might find yourself with her in strange places, or discover that a full moon is a reason to dive into bed, or an open field.

Blue

Blue is for the girl who is driven by her fantasies. She has a clear idea of what she wants and will settle for no less. She won’t compromise for something else. Unlike with Lady Black, Blue really appreciates style. It’s also very likely that the film “Dirty Dancing” was a moment of epiphany during her formative years.

Deep Blue:

Lady Deep Blue’s state of mind can probably no better be described than by Kylie Minogue’s song “Slow“. For making love to Lady Deep Blue is an intense affair, slow, and with each other’s eyes locked in an embracing gaze. She’s not the type to spill any words when making love. One must communicate with subtle gestures as not to interrupt the flow of the moment.

Pale Blue:

Miss Pale Blue is infatuated by the exotic. It’s probably her curiosity that may have initially driven her to try something a out of the ordinary, but along the way, must have realized that men from exotic places not only dance differently, they also make love differently. And in that sense, to Miss Pale Blue, sex is just a continuation in bed of something that started on the dance floor. As such, making love to her is no simple affair. Especially for us men who are accustomed to doing only a single thing at a time. It requires skill, rhythm and agility. Just like any exotic dance, every part of your body has remain in motion and in sync with hers: moving, grinding, flowing, feeling.

And so the next time you hear the phrase “Once you go black, you never go back”, size may not be the real reason, and more likely the initial sales pitch.

Yellow:

Yellow is a sex kitten and a rare find. She is acutely aware of her seductive prowess and knows very well how to put her skills to good use. She has a natural born talent in winding men around her finger using just her charm. Unsurprisingly, most women see her as a threat.

Sex with little Miss Yellow is an experience its own right. One might as well just sit back and enjoy as she takes full control and plays you like a toy. She is very assertive in bed, constantly teasing, seducing and having a ball. Don’t be surprised to find yourself gasping for air as you try to keep up with her antics. And it’s probably because she enjoys sex so much she’s surprisingly experienced for her age.

Mixed Match:

Miss Mixed Match doesn’t really care about how she looks. Why spend time and money on lingerie if it’s going to end up on the bedroom floor within seconds anyway? Miss Mixed is the girl next door, and may even be a little bit of a tomboy. For she prefers the company of boys rather than girls. Sex with her is a playful game: something not to be taken too seriously. She’s the girl who is most likely to initiate a cushion fight while making out and will end up wrestling with, before continuing what you started.

Orange:

Pop open a Heineken and celebrate. It’s very likely Miss Orange is a Dutch girl out on a special occasion.

White

It goes without saying that white is the color of innocence and for whom sex is not taken to lightly. In fact, making love to a lady white is like signing a contract of long term commitment.

White Cotton:

Miss White Cotton is the inexperienced clumsy partner in bed. Her insecurity makes her feel a bit nervous and perhaps even somewhat passive. But that does not necessarily mean you’ll have bad sex, quite the contrary. She’s probably the type that will later evolve into becoming a Black Lace lady as her confidence grows. Success with Miss White Cotton is measured by meaning and feeling rather than by technical skill. With her, something as simple as missionary can be magical. But trying anything too complicated or ambitious may very well end up in disaster.

White Lace:

Miss White Lace is the make-believe virgin. She has probably had more prior lovers than she’s willing to admit, but this time round, she’s sure you’re the one. And you better make sure that is the case or there will be hell to pay. As such, making love to her is a bit of a neurotic experience. A rollercoaster ride. Any hint that may endanger your relationship or make her feel insecure will spell trouble. Emotionally, she’s high maintenance. But if you love the passion of big fights followed by making-up sex, she’s your girl.

Pink or Peach

Miss Pink is naively romantic and preciously passive. If in bed, she shows any sign of initiative, it’ll be for hugs and cuddles. Otherwise, she’ll expect you to take the lead and do all the work. If you don’t know any better, have low expectations or simply love always being in control, then perhaps, she’s a dream. Otherwise, she’ll quickly tire with little chance of the both of you living happily ever after.

Deep Purple:

You Tarzan, she Jane! Miss Deep Purple is a jungle girl. She’s into rough wild animal sex. Loud and energetic, it takes quite some endurance to keep up with her as she shows you all four corners of the room. If you ever wanted to try out every position described in the Kama sutra, she’s probably the woman you want to take along with you on this crazy venture. And a wild ride it would be.

Emerald Green:

Unless she’s Irish, Mrs. Emerald Green is the wedding ring amongst the lingerie colors. She already in a relationship with a partner or a husbands somewhere. So if by chance, you should come across her, it’s most likely she’s just out for a fling. Mrs.Emerald Green is seeking a brief encounter of excitement to spice up her life. Making love to her can quickly become a strange cocktail of fantasy, seduction, control and guilt (and possibly even jealous partners). You just can’t tell what you’re getting yourself into with Emerald Green.

In Conclusion

And with that overview, I leave you with just one final question. What is your favorite color? ;)

This one is truly a little gem. Especially if you have very young unruly kids running about. Not only will this lovely animation creep them out and give them nightmares, they’ll  never hassle you in a toyshop ever again.
The story starts with a child that’s lured into a toy shop.. and from there, I’ll say no more. Just enjoy…

One might think that time travel is difficult at best and impossible at worst, but it’s not. It’s actually quite easy to accomplish. The most widely used method of time travel today is called growing old. We do it all the time.

The Dangers of Time Travel

If on the other hand, you want to travel back in time, that’s a whole different challenge. So let us assume we’re going to build a time machine that will let us do just that. How do we test it to make sure it works? Unless of course you want to be the guinea pig and risk ending up in a time or place that might not be so hospitable to your fragile existence. You wouldn’t be the first time traveler to end up frozen in the middle of space, due to the small oversight of earths moving trajectory around the sun, and the relative motion of the solar system within mind puzzling accelerated expansion of the larger universe. But let us not worry about that for now.

One theory states that even if a time machine were built, you would still not be able to time travel to an age prior to the existence of your workable machine. It was proposed as a reason why time travelers have not come back from the future so far, for lack of a vessel present in this day and age to do so. It also prevents you from going back in time and killing yourself before you were able to actually build your time machine, thus making it impossible to travel back in time to kill yourself in the first place, and creating a temporal rupture in the fabric of the space time continuum that could possibly destroy the entire universe. In other words, before we can bump into other time travelers or create utterly destructive paradoxes, we first have to build a time machine.

Build a Time Machine

Let’s start small. A box the size of a small box will do. As for the creation of your machine, a quick search on the internet should do the trick. Plenty of recipes exist such as: bending the space time continuum, creating worm holes, or accelerating your box to 88mph using a flux capacitor and bolts of lightning. (On a side note: It was once possible to buy nuclear grade plutonium from Libyan terrorists to power flux capacitors , but that no longer is an option as Libya has abandoned and disassembled its nuclear program). Also make sure to check Wikipedia as they have some wonderful theories on how to avoid the problem I mentioned earlier about the world being in motion which in turn ups the risk of ending up in space.

Testing the Time Machine

Once your time machine is ready, testing it should be fairly easy. Close the box. Switch it on. Write down the current time and date. We may need this later. Then open the box. If the box remains empty, the experiment failed and it is not yet suitable as a vessel for future operators to send things back in time with it. You may need to make some modifications or maybe even give it a good bang with the hammer. But whatever happens, don’t give up.

If on the other hand, you were to find, for example, an apple in your box, then chances are, your time machine works. Congratulations! Victory dance! However, exercise caution if the object inside the box happens to be Schrödinger’s cat; perhaps alive; perhaps dead. In the best case, Schrödinger may not be too pleased you stole his cat in this way. In the worst case, what you may have here may not be a time machine, but rather an infinite improbability drive. Before fiddling any further with it, I would advise you to first purchase either the latest edition of The Lonely Universe or a copy of the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. You’ll need it just in case something goes horribly wrong and you find yourself on the other side of the Milky Way. As a matter of fact, get both books. While the latter will be quite informative on your predicament, The Lonely Universe will list all the cheapest places to stay and eat whenever you find yourself in deep space. But I’m running astray. To get back to our test and keep things simple, we’re sticking to an apple as an example. Take it out of your time machine and close it.

The Final Step

Now that we’ve managed to create a working time machine, that doesn’t mean the test is over. Hell no! We still need to place the object back into the box, and preferably somewhere in the future, so we can find it in the past at the moment we started conducting the test. Failing to complete this last step would leave us with the puzzling question as to where the apple came from and how it got into our time machine in the first place.

If you’ve created one of those fancy time machines with a built in interface to enter the destinations date and time coordinates, input that data in right now. If on the other hand, you’ve left out such sophistications, cross your fingers and hope for the best. Now zap that apple back into the past. If you reopen it, the box should be empty again concluding a successful time travel test. Cause enough for another victory dance.

Check List

This test should be repeated every time one builds a new time machine or to check if an existing one is still in working condition. And if you really want to be scientifically professional, here’s a quick check list:

1. Make sure the time machine is empty before starting the test, then close its door.

2. Switch on the time machine.

3. Write down the current time and date.

4. Open the door.

5. Take out the apple.

6. Close the door.

7. Wait thirty minutes. In the mean time, DO NOT EAT THE APPLE!

8. Open the door.

9. Place the apple back into the time machine.

10. Close the door.

11. Enter the time and date coordinates written down in step 3.

12. Send the apple back into time.

13. Open the door and attain that the apple is no longer there.

14. The test has successfully been completed.

15. Perform a victory lap.

For laughs, most time travelers will usually do this test using either an egg, or a chicken, depending on whatever appears first.

Skhizein is a story about a man feeling a little bit out of place. 91 centimeters out of place to be exact. After a tragic encounter with a meteorite, his life is just not the same anymore. He must learn to cope in a world that doesn’t understand his predicament, of simply doesn’t care. Sometimes he meets with success, and sometimes he doesn’t. But suffering from such a rare affliction does make for an original storyline.

This wonderful little short animation is in French, but it does have English subtitles.

Remembering Chittagong, Bangladesh

Some ships meet their fate at the bottom of the ocean. Others continue sailing, long exceeding their expiry date, or are docked as museum pieces for the generations to come. But for most ships, their demise is spelled on the beaches of the poorest nations. In particular: the shorelines of Chittagong, the southernmost province of Bangladesh.

I was reminded of this place when seeing the photographic series of ‘Manufactured Landscapes’ by Edward Burtynsky. He has created fascinating photo essays on how mankind’s industrial hunger has radically altered our landscapes into beautifully disturbing places.  (His website unfortunately doesn’t allow direct links to the ship breaking series, so to get there, pick: works > ships > shipbreaking. His other series are also well worth visiting).

But it was thanks to a recent reunion with a classmate from my Bangladeshi days, that brought back many of my memories from that time.

A School Field Trip

It must have been in ’86 when my class traveled from Dhaka to Chittagong by train. Twenty-three years later, many of the details escape me. I can’t quite remember if this particular trip was supposed to have any educational value, nor whether we ended up in a guesthouse near Chittagong city or Cox Bazar, a place situated on the longest natural beach in the world. But what I do remember is this trip was fun. It was one filled with many firsts for me. For it was here were I was introduced to ‘UNO’. Easy to learn, and playable with many, it’s the one card game I almost always take with me when I travel.

More importantly though – and with a class of pre-adolescent teens whose hormones were starting to kick in – we discovered there was more to the opposite sex than we had been led to believe. And so we took our first clumsy steps in flirting with each other through elaborate paper counting games that would help us predict our future partners. The rules of which are now lost on me, but I’m sure it’s still played today by the upcoming youth. And as if that wasn’t enough, we even went to the trouble of organizing an ad-hoc dance party one night. Missing the proper ingredients to successfully pull such a thing off, such us proper mood lighting, we huddled into a small dark room, where we silently danced, so that we could here a puny sound coming off of the speakers of a small walkman someone had brought along. By all objective metrics, it was a disaster. But that wasn’t the point. When The Eye of the Tiger or Tarzan Boy played, all was good. We were having fun and that all that mattered.

It was also here were I learnt to spin the bottle and play truth or dare. It was even thanks to these very likable games that I was first kissed. Looking back, it was all very innocent of course. But at the same time, very new and exciting as well. It was just a matter of time, but by the end of the trip, the first couple of our class had formed.

A Hike to the Beach

It was during this trip – one late afternoon – that our chaperones took us out on a hike. We trekked over rolling hills covered by lush and green grass. Peering over hills and cliffs, the surrounding views were magnificent. Walking between natures untouched vastness, it was hard not to feel incredibly small and meaningless. It was a humbling experience.
If I have a penchant of traveling to weird and strange places, then this is probably where I got my first taste. For it was on these hills that I discovered the romance of travel. I’ve been pursuing it ever since.

As we walked closer to the coast, the Indian Ocean started to appear along the distant horizon. As we reached a cliff overlooking the shore line, the sun started to set. It was a dreamy and surreal sight to behold. At low tide, we stood before an almost endless and deserted beach. On it laid these two huge and rusty old ships – like fish out of water – and in a stage of decay. They had been brought here to die.

Although the clues were there, it’s not something I could have witnessed during a single sunset. But what happens here is the industrial equivalent of nature at work. The local villagers, using only their bare hands, will – like little creatures – crawl over these gigantic carcasses. As the oil – like blood –spills over and onto the beaches, they are slowly, bit by bit, torn apart, until over a period of weeks and months, nothing of these mighty ships are left.¹

Recycling to Survive

For me, the fact of seeing these ships in a place where they normally wouldn’t belong was amazement enough. If our teachers hadn’t stopped us, we would have probably turned them into a huge playground.

And although I knew they would eventually vanish, little did I realize the scale and endeavor neded to undertake such a job of breaking down a ship. Especially with the little means they had available to them. But then, by then, I had taken for granted that everything in Bangladesh got recycled. This was long before such behavior became fashionable in the west. Of course, this was not done out of any environmental concerns, but pure out of necessity to survive. Like the little children that would daily roam our neighborhood in Dhaka, carrying jute bags and filling them with any litter they could find. What ever they found would then be sold off to be recycled. Despite the lack of proper municipal services, our streets were always clean and for many, this was their way of staying alive. Witnessing this from the other side of the divide, I knew early on that I was in a privileged position.

And so upon our return to the guesthouse and sheltered lives, our only worry was organizing a party that night. The only thing we had to concern ourselves with was being the children we were, trying hard to grow up in a place where ships were sent to die.

¹) In Lord of War – a film about an opportunistic weapons dealer fueling the fires of war– a similar scene is depicted. Only here, we’re in Africa where an airplane is being dismantled overnight by the locals.

Introduction

Is it possible to imagine a truly new and distinct color? A color that cannot be derived from any of the existing colors we already know?

I’ve tried, and to date, I’ve failed. But I haven’t quite given up yet. And so the goal of this article is to detail my quest in search of this unknown and illusive new color. To do so, we must delve into the world of colors and learn how we perceive them all around us. But first, I want to make clear what it is I’m trying to do.

I want a new color.

I’m not talking about discovering a new tint of red, or giving name to a peculiar shade called ocean-green-berry-blue. No, what I want is an entirely new primary color. Let me clarify:

An Example

Imagine the experience of living your entire life in a black-and-white world. The only colors you know are black, white and grays. Without problem, you would be able to dream up a new shade of gray, even if you had never actually seen it before. It’s just a matter of mixing the colors you already know, in this case black and white. With that, predicting a new shade shouldn’t be too difficult. For example: mix a lot of white paint with a bit of black, and you know you’ll get light gray.

Now imagine that in this black-and-white world, you’re one day presented with the color red. Prior to this experience, you hadn’t even fathomed that such a color could exist. And even if you did know of such a color, and even if it was explained to you before hand, you still wouldn’t have known what red looked like until you saw it with your own two eyes. It would have been like trying to explain colors to a blind man.

Now the big question is, after discovering red in your otherwise black and white world, could you then sit down, close your eyes, and imagine a completely new color? Such as green for example?

To answer my question, I did just that. I shut my eyes, and tried to imagine a new primary color. I quickly realized this wasn’t easy at all. I could randomly picture new colors in my mind, but they were always derivatives of the colors I already knew. But somehow, I wasn’t able to create something new out of nothing. My brain would only allow me to create colors I was actually capable of describing. This is a major short coming of how our minds work if you ask me. And so if I am ever going to achieve my goal of imagining a new color, I will have to find a way to outsmart my own brain.

So instead of randomly trying to dream up a new color, I’ve decided to try out a new approach. I am going to design a new color and give it certain properties, so my mind will at least be able to describe it, even if I’m not yet able to actually picture it. But to do that, I will first have to start with the basics: how do we see colors?

The Source of our Colors: Light

The light we see around us is in fact electromagnetic (EM) radiation. You could say that they are little bits of quantum energy, flying about at the speed of light. But the truth is, we don’t really know. Scientists are still debating on whether light travels as waves, little photon particles, or a combination of both. It could even be something entirely different. What we do know is that the human eye is only able to see a tiny fraction of the electromagnetic spectrum. At one end of the measurable spectrum, we have gamma rays, and at the other, we’ll find radio waves. Somewhere in between of all this, we have visible light.

The reason our eyes have adapted to only seeing a small range of the EM spectrum, is probably an evolutionary thing. That portion of the spectrum was the only part to penetrate our atmosphere and the ocean waters when we were still swimming about as fish. Once we did get out of the water, our evolutionary ancestors never really bothered to expand the reach of our vision. A missed opportunity if you ask me. Birds for example did do just that and they can not only see the colors we do, they’re also able to see in the ultra violet range. As a result, they may very well be able to see a lot more colors then we do, but more on that later. First, let’s go crazy…

X-Ray Vision

There is no inherent difference between the visible light we see and for example the signals sent to your radio. And even though we can’t see a radio wave directly with our own eyes; for all practical purposes, it too can be considered as being light. Radio Telescopes are a good example of this. Scientists use these special telescopes to register light from outer space with longer wavelengths than those that would otherwise not be detectable by their optical counterparts. Either that, or they’re just trying to listen to radio station hosted by aliens on other planets.

Indirectly, we are able to see beyond our vision. Think of x-ray scanners at the doctor or at the airport. We use night vision goggles to better see in the dark, and then there is the whole field of infrared photography.

But imagine our eyes did evolve to encompass the entire electromagnetic spectrum. Not only would this be a truly amazing feat, our world would also look entirely different.

So how would our world look like if we could actually view a larger scope of the spectrum? Let us say you are at home and you’re hungry. You decide to heat up some left over spaghetti from last night in the microwave. When you switch it on and look through its window, you’ll see it emitting light in the microwave range. But the cool thing is, you can also see how hot your food is getting by the intensity of the infrared light it is giving off. It takes out some of the guesswork while cooking your food.

And while you wait for your spaghetti to heat up, you see you’re about to get a call. You’re mobile is emitting a beam of light to a nearby cell tower which you can see beyond your walls glowing in the distance like lamp post. It’s your friend on the phone asking you to turn on the radio. A song dedicated to you is about to be aired live on your favorite station. Simply by looking at how the light from radio waves is being absorbed by metallic objects (it passes through all the rest like glass), you can actually see where in your home you’ll get the best reception. Same is true for the reception of your mobile, you wi-fi connection, TV and GPS. In fact, you would also have night vision, be able to look through clothes. Of course, everybody would be able to see through your clothes as well. And you would also have x-ray vision. Though for the latter, you’ll still need a source that emits x-rays. Something you don’t want to do too often. But it’s time we headed back to reality.

How Our Eyes Detect Light

Being able to detect electromagnetic radiation is one thing, but sorting them into colors is another. For that, we have to look at how our eyes register light. We have two kinds of photoreceptors: rods and cones. The rod receptors aren’t capable of detecting color, but they are very sensitive to light, making them especially useful in the dark. They do however need time to readjust when light levels change. This is especially apparent when you move from a well lit room into the darkness. At first, everything will appear black, but after a while, your vision will improve and you’ll be able to make out more things in the dark. More interestingly, rod receptors aren’t able to detect red light and therefore its light sensitivity won’t be affected by it. So if you’re out on the prowl at night with a torch, it’s actually better to use a red beam of light instead of white as it won’t affect your night vision. It’s also the same reason why some car manufacturers use red dashboard lights.

Cone receptors work best in daylight and are responsible for our color vision. There are three types of cone receptors, each able to pick up specific wavelengths. One is primarily responsible for red, one for green and another for blue. A chemical inside our photoreceptors turn photons into an electrical signal. That signal is then sent to our brain, and it is in here that the actual colors are formed. And when the cones in the same region are triggered, but in different wavelengths, our brains will mix those primary colors and form new ones in the process. Red and green signals will for example form the color yellow.

We see this best when looking at rainbow where we are presented with the whole range of spectral colors from violet on one end, to red on the other. And when our red, green and blue receptors are all triggered at the same time at full intensity, we see the color white.

Loopholes in our vision system:

It’s all very well to know how our eyes work, but if I am going to design a new color, we may need to figure out if there are any loopholes in our vision system. Luckily, they do exist.

The Whiter than White Mystery

The first oddity I’ll put forward are the fluorescent colors. Why are they odd you ask? Well, normally, when light hits an object, it can do three things: pass right through it, get absorbed and or be reflected. For example, if you wanted to reflect all light, you could shine it on a mirror.

Fluorescent colors on the other hand reflect more light from their surface than what they’re actually receiving. Quite a feat when we consider we’re not dealing with a light emitting source here. How is this possible? It’s actually absorbing light from the ultra-violet spectrum and then converts it to visible light before reflecting it back. The same process happens when for example you leave a black bag out in the sun. When visible light hits it, it is converted to heat which is then radiated in the infrared spectrum. So within the visible light range, our black bag will look dark, but will appear bright in the infrared range.

Detergents

That is pretty much what is happening with fluorescent colors, but in the opposite direction from the perspective of our visible spectrum. Instead of appearing darker like our black bag, fluorescents will actually appear brighter than any other surrounding color. This interesting property is also used in washing detergents. Special dyes are added to convert ultraviolet light into visible light making your white clothes appear whiter than they actually are, though maybe not necessarily cleaner.

Office Paper

Similar dyes are also used in office paper. Place it against any other white object and it should appear brighter and whiter. In fact, it will have a blue-violet shine to it. A sign that it is bordering on the verge of the ultra-violet spectrum.

Toothpaste

The most interesting example of such dyes is in the use of teeth whiteners. This is where applied color theory really shines through. Teeth are naturally yellow looking. If you add white to it, you will either have to use a very opaque paint or all you’ll get is lighter tint of yellow. However, another way of neutralizing a color is by adding its complementary color to it. And the complementary color for yellow happens to be blue. It’s by no accident that your toothpaste maybe entirely blue or contain traces of it. Your teeth will not only look brighter as a result, but will also appear whiter without looking too unnatural.

And while this may all be very fascinating, I’ve so far failed to see an immediate way to exploit this particular loophole to my advantage. So lets move on…

The Magenta Mystery

When we split white light through a prism, or an elaborate rainbow, we can see the individual colors flowing from red to violet. They represent all the colors in the visible range of the EM spectrum. Yet one color is missing: magenta. Magenta is not part of the spectrum at all, yet we are still able to distinguish it. How is this possible?

When we see a color that is a mix of both red and violet wavelengths – which are at both ends of the spectrum – our brain can do one of two things. Either it represents this mixed color as something in between these two wavelengths(green for example), or it invents an entirely new color. The fact that we are able to see magenta, is proof that our brain has chosen to do the latter. So even though red and violet are at opposite ends of the spectrum, magenta makes it possible to link them making our color system look like a closed loop.

Prior to this knowledge, one could argue that the colors we see are not properties of our mind, but are based in the physical world around us. I’m not that inclined to believe that anymore. And the fact that magenta is unarguably a fictional color, gives me hope that our brains may be able to create more fictional colors.

Sounds promising? In Part II (coming soon), we’ll be wondering if birds see white when we do, and then I’ll go on to explain how I plan to design my new and novel color called Qualia.